Friday, February 5, 2010

OP's Super Bowl XLIV Drinking Game*

This Sunday, every time you see one of these things you must take a healthy swig of beer.

Pete Townsend doing windmills. (Maybe you shouldn't watch the half time show.)

GoDaddy soft-core porn TV spots.

Shannon Sharpe saying something unintelligible. (Careful....)

Stories about New Orleans still recovering from Hurricane Katrina.

"Who dat!?" (Again, careful....)

Shots of the entire Manning clan in a luxury suite.

References to Colts WR Pierre Garcon being from Haiti.

"Baba O'Reily/Won't Get Fooled Again" medley.

Snowy scenes from Indianapolis.

President Obama saying "the previous administration" during his Katie Couric interview before the game.†

Anyone being carted from the field.

Spotting Drew Brees' birthmark.††

Pete Townsend sliding on his knees.

People rushing onto the field to see The Who up close.†††

Talking animal spots.

How much a Saints win would mean to the city of New Orleans.

How Peyton Manning grew up close to New Orleans.

How all Americans really are New Oleanders at heart.††††

Live shots of Bourbon St.

A snow-covered Indy 500 race track.

The paddles being used on Pete Townsend.†††††

P Diddy/Beyonce/Alicia Keys/Rhinna in a Pepsi spot.

Trailers for shitty movies, including the next Harry Porter movie: "Harry Potter and The Alzheimer-Addled Wizard"

Live shots of shrimp gumbo.

Reggie Bush's girlfriend Kim Kardashian sitting with Paris Hilton.††††††

Up-close shots of Drew Brees' birthmark.

Live shots from an Olive Garden in Indianapolis.

Phil Simms' saying "they need a turnover to stop them."†††††††

Carrie Underwood holding a note entirely too long.

Any pro or anti-abortion spot.‡

You should be pleasantly bombed halfway into the 1st quarter....

*I reserve the right to make my posts better. If only slightly.

†Hmm, your liver will hate you even before the game starts.
†† Get an operation already.
††† Enough to make you want to drink.
†††† If you're not blindly corrupt and incomptent, no need to drink. But be honest.
††††† Oh, you laugh now, but you could be drinking.
†††††† Sitting in Section Ho.
††††††† Could apply to Saints or Colts.
‡Stay off my TV, both of you.


  1. You're in for a shitty afternoon, buster.

  2. This list should be a drinking game. Every time one of these happens, I have to take a swig.

    Screw that, I'll be bombed before the end of the 1st quarter.

  3. Shit, that's what this post should have been: A drinking game! LOL