Thursday, June 25, 2009

Concrete Isn't Forever

Along with "War is Terrorism", one of the more annoying and ignorant and intellectually bankrupt displays of the bumper sticker mentality you'll see around is one that reads, "Concrete is Forever."

Even when I was knee-deep in the Green Party in the late 1980s, I knew this was inherently untrue. Granted my conclusion was anecdotally drawn after seeing what became of a backcountry concrete road in the Desolation Wilderness of the Sierras as it eroded over the course of a half-dozen plus years, but I knew the sticker represented environmental hyperbole.

Thankfully, there's been a fine series on the History Channel that reveals and shows just how right I was. It's called "Life After People"*, and it goes a long way toward debunking the hyperventilating environmentalists' view that mankind's effects on the environment are permanent and irreversible.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

LAP’s premise flows around the idea of what would happen to civilization and the creations of mankind should humans up and disappear all of sudden. Based on computer models, scientists' speculation and living laboratories of towns and cities around the globe that provide real-world examples of what happens after mankind has abandoned them, the show is utterly fascinating. (To me, anyway.)

It all begins within the first 24 hours, too. Power grids across the world systematically shut down or fail simply because no human was around to make sure the machines kept running.

Then Mother Nature really gets to work.

London and Amsterdam become flooded or half under water within 10 years. The Brooklyn Bridge? Sitting at the bottom of East River within 150 years. Atlanta, torn down slowly ripped apart and covered by kudzu. The entire cities of Houston and New Orleans returned to the swamps from which they were born. The Hoover Dam eroded by time and severely damaged by earthquakes, collapses and returns the Colorado River to its unrestrained and natural state. The Great Pyramids? Buried in great sand storms.

And on it goes.

In short, the Earth will swallow up mankind’s greatest structures and architectural achievements. Nothing will remain—at least nothing as we recognize it.

And it all happens in just 10,000 years.

Hey, so much for our dominance over the earth.

Considering that science estimates that Earth's should be around for another 4.5 billion years, 10,000 years is a blip on the cosmic clock.

Of course it hinges on us disappearing all of sudden, which isn’t very likely. But it can’t be ruled out either. There’s our propensity to destroy ourselves in war. Or the inevitable super virus that’s bound to make its way into our lives. Or, over earth’s history, the frequency with which meteors and comets strike our planet.

In the end, the show provides one more reason to marginalize environmental doomsayers and alarmists like Al Gore, NASA’s James Hansen and others who proclaim we must ‘save our environment’ or that we have ‘a planetary emergency’ and that we’re ‘destroying the earth.’ This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t take steps to preserve it and be stewards of our environment, we absolutely should.

But as LAP clearly demonstrates, no matter how far our technology has come or how advanced we think we are, nature will be the ultimate winner. For the earth has rebuilt and destroyed itself and the life on it (and been destroyed by outside forces) many times over—even without our help. And it will do so again when we perish from it.

*You can watch episodes on the web site.

Best. Radio Commercial. Ever.

I'd love to have the actual spot, but I really don't need it in order to share its greatness with you, dear 3.5 readers.* A random sample of a few lines will do.

The spot is for Shari's Restaurants (as in Sherry). It's a man and woman enthusiastically touting the restaurant's pie promotion.

You so know what's coming next....

Man: "Who doesn't love Shari's pie!?"

Woman: "I could go for a piece of Shari's pie."

Man: "Shari's pie is the best!"

I'll bet it is. But sorry, I'm a one slice pie kind of guy.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Boo! Hiss! Get outta here!

Lucas Glover wins the Open.


Who I Was Really Hoping Would Win The Open

Good to see David Duval have a great tournament. Was a time when I thought he epitomized everything that was wrong with golf before Tiger came along—mechanical, aloof and characterless.

Then I read the 1999 Sport Illustrated story on him*.

By the time I finished the article and learned about the personal demons that followed him around and what he was playing for, I was 100% in his corner.

I hear he's happier these days—married with kids and at relative peace with his past. All wonderful, wonderful things indeed.

So I was positively psyched to see him in serious contention once again—complete with the standard chew in his lip!

UPDATE: Holy shit! I just looked at the leaderboard and Duval is just 1 back with 2 to play! Go David!

UPDATE: Holy, holy double shit! Duval is on 18, tied for the lead! Come on, David!

* Or maybe it was Golf Digest, I can't remember exactly.


I can't believe this.

I'm actually rooting for Phil "Tits" Mickelson.

Who the hell else am I supposed root for? Lucas Glover? Ross Fisher? Puhleeze.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Executioner in Chief

First, it was trying to prevent the slinging of dead fish.

Now it's chastising the President of the United States for the "execution" of a common house fly during an interview.

Yup, the feckless crapweasels over PETA are at it again. And yes, they did call it an "execution."

I really like Obama's technique here too. Very stealthy and cagey and the "over the top" method is perfect for executing these most defenseless and "pathetic of creature(s)", flies.

Now if only he could do the same to PETA and its' followers.

And say, does anybody else find it a tad, well, gross to continue an interview with fly guts on your hands? Ewwwwwwwww.....

(I love the comment someone left that read "Yeah, but can he duck a shoe?" Awesome!)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Want To Make Headlines In The Western Media?

Revoke the press credentials of international reporters and confine them to their offices, that's how.

As blogger Max Boot said over at the blog Contentions, maybe there's a bright side to the Ahmadinejad 'victory'; Iran reveals its street-rat crazy thugocracy to the world, which the world can no longer deny exists. (As if somehow it could before.)

The irony between now and 1989 gets thicker.

(I'd love to comment on the Obama Administration's reactions and how I feel this is a huge opportunity to get Iran to the nuclear negotiation table while operating from a position of strength, but I'm a little busy, so maybe later.)

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Most Shocking Video I've Ever Posted

Shocking in that a.) I posted a video, and b.) that it's from that partisan half-wit, I-need-a-factcheck-guide hack Bill Mahar. But he makes some good and mildly amusing points.

BTW: Chris Matthews certainly doesn't look like he has a thrill going up his leg here.

UPDATE: See, that's the reason I don't post videos very often. I suck at it. (I don't know why it's all thin and not showing now.

What's The Farsi Word For Irony?

Let's quickly review.

A clearly rigged election where—miraculously—millions of paper votes were counted in just hours and run by the Minister of Interior

The shutting down of web sites, phone service and news outlets by the government—the only official reports coming from the iMinister of Interior itself.

A reform leader under house arrest, his fate uncertain. Hundreds, possibly thousands of students arrested and hauled off to God knows where.

And a regime that openly lies to the world without repercussions.

It's all too familiar.

This is the same government that tells us its seeking a nuclear reactor for "peaceful purposes." (Oh, and wants to ""wipe Israel off the map", let's not forget that classic hit.)

Finally, I wonder if President Obama will now stick to his word and that "we will welcome all elected, peaceful governments -- provided they govern with respect for all their people." Let's hope not. But I fear he will.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

My Worst Fear Realized

I fear bees.

Any one who knows me has seen me run and scream like a 3-year old girl just to get away from them.

I've been attacked by yellow jackets twice in my life. And now I have even more grounds to justify my fear of these flying fortresses of sting-inducing hell.

Radioactive wasps.

I think I'll just stay inside until late October.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"Them Jews"

Good old Reverend Wright. You can always count on him to pop up like a crazy old uncle who shows up at the family reunion and makes everyone uncomfortable by saying something awkward. Or, in this case, tinged with anti-semitism:

"Them Jews aren't going to let him talk to me. I told my baby daughter, that he'll talk to me in five years when he's a lame duck, or in eight years when he's out of office...They* will not let him to talk to somebody who calls a spade what it is. ... I said from the beginning: He's a politician; I'm a pastor. He's got to do what politicians do."

Which, as a politician, Obama tried to do during the primary by throwing Wright under the bus.

Apparerntly Obama needed to back up a few more times.

Any-who, just remember that Obama never heard any of this kind of talk in his 20 years of attending Wright's church or that Wright was his "spiritual advisor" on the Audacity of Hope and everything will be just swell and fine.

Got that? Never heard it. Not once.

Move along now.

Side thought: Does Wright know Jesus was a Jew? I'm thinking "no" here....

*'They' meaning 'them Jews' in case you needed that pointed out.

Yeah, But They're Dead...

The American Veterinary Medical Association is planning on having the famous Pike Place Market fish throwers perform a demonstration at a upcoming function.

And guess who's none too happy about it?

If you guessed PETA—ding! ding!—you're the winner!

Really. They're not kidding.

According to the report, PETA's upset the fish are being treated as "toys."

Some people are truly a waste of molecules.

Monday, June 8, 2009

RBI or RBIs?*

This is one of those things that should have been covered in the wonderful book, "Eats, Shoots and Leaves: A Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation."

Then again, the English author probably gave two hoots about baseball. So there's that.

Any-who, let's get something grammatically straight, baseball fans and lazy sportswriters and editors (and Mariners' announcers who do this constantly):

"RBI" means "run batted in." Or, should a player knock in more than one runner, "runs batted in."

Example: Todd Helton had 1 RBI today.
Example: Chase Utley had 4 RBI on the day.

"RBIs" reads and sounds like, "run batted ins" or "runs batted ins."

Either way, it just be crappy English.

Got it? Good.

Carry on.

*Find a punctuation error in this post? Fuck you for noticing.**
** Kidding!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Product Notes You Gotta Love

Jotted down on the product sheet for a bike by my fellow editor and buddy, Jon:

"training wheels suck....your child will hate you if you don't get them this bike for Xmas..."

Just a tad off brand, I think.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Today's Assignment

Write a short essay on the word 'prolific'.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Why Today's Media Lack Credibility, Example 6,312

In an article on MSNBC regarding Dick Cheney's 'surprise' that he supports gay marriage (duh, his daughter's gay), was this tidbit from the erstwhile reporter and his razor-sharp editor:

Cheney also defended the Bush administration's decision to invade Iraq in 2003, despite faulty intelligence about its nuclear weapons program and links to the 9/11 attacks.

Despite. To show an act of contempt for or in defiance of something.

It is this clause that directly implies that the Bush Administration knew the intelligence about WMD was faulty and that they knew the links to 9/11 were tenuous.

Pardon me, but this clause is complete and utter bull-fucking-shit. If it is purposeful, it is a high form of deceit; if it is on accident, it is sheer editorial laziness. Neither is defensible. The only thing it is is crappy journalism that perpetuates a lie.

First of all, it was only after the invasion and conquering of Iraq that the intelligence of Saddam's WMD proved false, not before it.

As for Iraq's alleged involvement in 9/11, this was never was never high on the Bush Admin.'s list of reasons for invading Iraq. Did Saddam have terrorist connections? Absolutely. Those have been well documented. Were those terrorist groups connected to 9/11? No. And the Bush Admin. knew it, which is why when asked about those 'connections' they were very careful in how they explained them because any 'evidence' presented would be viewed skeptically by a public (and media) grossly unfamiliar with intelligence information gathering and analyzing.

So is there some grand conspiracy here? No. It's just shitty, lazy journalism tinged with the spice of bias.

Somewhere Edward R. Murrow weeps.

To My Fellow Seattle-ites Whining About How "Hot" is at 84ยบ, Here's a Little Reminder...

That was 6 months ago, m'kay?


Name The Pitch

What pitch is Rick Porcello (left) throwing?

Guess correctly and win absolutely nothing!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Oh, BTW ESPN....

LeBron James? Not. A. God. Yet.

Probably 10x Funnier Than "Blades of Glory"*

Definitely worth hitting 'record' on the old DVR.

*And really, there are a lot of things 10x funnier than "Blades of Glory". Like, say, "The English Patient" or "Schindler's List".