Boys Don't Cry, The Sequel

If Oscar voters thought Hillary Swank's performance as a hermaphrodite was spellbinding, just wait until she plays a Swedish teenager who has been raised to be neither boy or girl.

And just like her Oscar-winning performance, this will be a true story too.

According to the report, a Swedish couple refuses to reveal their child's gender young child to the world, citing "their decision was rooted in the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction"

“We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” Pop’s mother said. “It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.”

The child's parents said so long as they keep Pop’s gender a secret, he or she will be able to avoid preconceived notions of how people should be treated if male or female.

So let me see if I have this right: My penis is a societal construct and isn't really a part of me but an illusion. Okay, got it. This will be extraordinarily disappointing to my wife.

Pop's wardrobe includes everything from dresses to trousers and Pop's hairstyle changes on a regular basis. And Pop usually decides how Pop is going to dress on a given morning.

Although Pop knows that there are physical differences between a boy and a girl, Pop's parents never use personal pronouns when referring to the child – they just say Pop.

Yeah, those pesky personal pronouns are so repressive and confining.

Well, I'm inspired! Tonight when I go home I will no longer have a son. From now on, it's name will be "Gelatinous Goo" because that's really what we are underneath it all.